Showing posts with label trapped. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trapped. Show all posts

Monday, 9 June 2008

I need to break out

I honestly can't deal with this anymore.
I'm trapped in a world that I can't get out.
I feel confused and afraid and so empty inside.
I'm always being controlled by my parents.
I can't do anything without them stopping me.
It has changed me so much into someone I know I'm not.
It has made me afraid and unmotivated and undetermined.

I do know deep down I want to be free.
I want to be motivated and really determined.
I want to be who I am and live my dream.
But I just think that it'll never happen.

I really do love my parents.
I know they stuck by me through rough times.
But I can never do anything without them always holding my hand.
I understand that they want to see what's best for me.
But they keep pressuring me to do what they want me to do.
I try and try to be strong but deep down I'm breaking apart.
I've been crying for the past 10 minutes.
I just can't deal with it much longer.

I just want to take the first step of being independant.
I don't want them holding my hand all the time.
I know if I try to speak to them; they will argue and will never allow it.

I just don't know what to do or expect anymore.

I'm planning to visit Los Angeles next year to celebrate my 20th birthday.
I want to go alone.
I want to see what I'll be stepping into.
I'm not dumb.
I'm not stupid.
I know what's right.
I know what's wrong.
I don't know why they don't trust me.

I have made friends in America.
I know my parents will not even care.
I know they care about me and don't want to see me get hurt.
But they already have hurt me.

I know I won't be able to go.
They will always stop me from doing what I believe in doing.
I know they will argue with me and never allow it.

I love Australia... it's my home.
But I know I don't belong in Australia.
I don't fit in.
It's not where I was meant to be.
I just feel out of place here.

I just feel like running away.
I just want to be who I am.
I just want to set myself free.

I just don't know what to make sense of anymore.
I just don't know.

Monday, 7 April 2008

One of those "days"

When you feel empty and numb inside.
When you feel like screaming... but nothing comes out.
When you need someone to be there for you... but there's no one.
When you want to be with the person you love... they are not there.
When you hide the pain from others and pretend nothing is wrong.
When you want to achieve and succed on your dream... it takes time .
When you wish and pray every night to build that dream... it takes time.
When you don't have any friends that share the same interests as you.
When you can't find anyone that has a passion for singing or acting.
When you replace your emotions with food to make you better.
When you feel so alone and trapped.
When you feel as though no one can understand you.
When you feel like crying... but nothing comes out.
When your chest hurts from the pain.
That's what I'm feeling right now...
I just wish I had someone to take me away.
I just wish I could be living my dream right now.
I just wish I had my wings to fly with the birds.
I just wish I was living my dream.
I just wish I was out there.
I just wish time hurried up.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

Where do I belong? Who am I?

"Where do I belong?" is the question that wanders through our hearts and minds. Sometimes we feel out of place. Sometimes we feel like we don't belong. Sometimes we don't feel right with ourselves. We want to belong, somewhere, where we can be who we are, who we were meant to be. Each time we try and speak out, it feels as though no one can hear us. We pray for an answer. We dream how life could be. We wonder if we'll end up happy. We hope that we'll spread our wings and be who we were meant to be.

Deep inside, we feel trapped, as though we can't escape the jail we've been imprisoned in. We want to break through the bars that's been keeping us trapped. We just want to runaway, before we lose our mind. We want to be free. We want to be out of the darkness and into the light. Just want to be far away. Some place that we can begin a new life and turn our dream into reality. We want to be independent. We want to be successful. And complete our destiny, which, is yet to be written.

We feel scared. We're afraid of the consequences that may lay ahead of us. We're afraid of failure. We're afraid of being alone. Sometimes we feel afraid of coming out of our shell because the world might view us differently. Others may not accept us for who we are. Sometimes, we just have to face it through the storm, face our darkest demons, because in the end, an angel always shines through to us. The light will lead our hearts to our true selves.

We just want to leave the nest. We just want to spread our wings and fly. We'll do whatever it takes to reach the sky. We have to sacrifice the things we love to accomplish what we want or be who we want to be with. We all have to take risks. We just have to work and fight extremely hard. We all have to make a change in our life. We just have to stay true to ourselves. No matter what we go through in life, we have to have faith and believe in ourselves.

Sometimes we ask ourselves, "Who am I?", and pray for answer. Sometimes we don't get an answer. Deep in your heart. Deep in your soul. That answer is located within yourself. Sometimes we hide from our true identity, because we're afraid of being hurt, because we're not ready to accept it, yet. We run and hide. We feel lost. We turn for help and never get it. We pretend to be something we're not to please others, to protect ourself from the reality. But, in the end, will it be worth it?

We change our personalities, we change our identity, we hide from our self to fit into society. Yet, we don't realize the damage it's doing to us. It hurts. Our heart aches. Our minds wander through a million thoughts. It hurts us, knowing, that everything we built around us, was a lie. It's not who we were meant to be. It's not what our destiny had planned for us. We choose to make our destiny. We choose how we live our life. But, it comes at a price: your sanity.

We should never hide in our shell. We should never hide who we are. We should never hide our true identity. Because, sooner or later, we will be revealed. There will be a point in life, where we won't be able to handle it, and we would crack. We'll do something that we'll regret. Something we wished we did a long time ago: be true to ourselves from the begining. We just have to to be strong in these cases. We have to face it as it comes. We just have to show the world: that we don't care what they think. We are who we were born to be.

You should always be who you are. You should always be who you were born to be. Even in today, society can be a total mess, you should always stay true to yourself. We should not care what others think of us. We were born into this world as individuals. We are all unique. We are who we are. The soul of life is just a song and everything goes on along. There's no right beat. We should never look back. We just have to keep looking forward. We got to keep the ball rolling. No matter how long it takes.

We all want to be where we belong. We all want to be something. You have to work and fight extremely hard to do that. Sacrifices will be made. As long as we stay true to yourself, it will be worth it. Because God will bless you. He will open so many doors for you. And life will treat you with respect and dignity. Being who you are, makes us what we are today...

Unique


Jordan