Monday 14 July 2008

Oy, forgive me Lord for I have sinned

I SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKED
=[



Jordan.A

What should I do, what should I do?!

I'm so tempted to go back to smoking again.
Although I've quit since January 26th.
I just feel like a cigarette so much right now.
I need something to relieve the stress.
I've been good so far... it just confuses me!!
My brain says yes and no at the same time.
It isn't easy...

I was thinking about something...
"IF" I start smoking again; I could probably cut it down.
I know I used to chain smoke a lot... which is BAD!!
But, I could just be a social smoker and smoke when I'm out with friends.
I smoked Winfield greys which is about 2mils.
I would just take it slowly and see how I go with it.
I'll just start again for a bit and then quit again.

AAAAAAAAARGH I DON'T KNOW!!!!!

I know that my singing sounds good to me... although it still needs improvement.
but I just really feel stressed and have everything bottled up inside and feel like to explode!!
I'm trying not to be weak and be strong!
I'm trying to take the fight!!!
I'm starting to break down.... it's too much for me!!
I don't know what I should do!!
*sigh*


Jordan.A

As time goes by

I begin to wonder for the future.
What's left for me?
What is left to hope in?

Am I having my hopes too high for being a successful singer?
Am I looking for something that isn't there?
Am I wasting my time?

I don't know...

I pray and pray every single night for a miracle.
I try my best to never give up hope and keep believing.
But I just don't know if I can hold on any longer...

I really do want this... I love music. It's my passion... my life.
I dream about this so much for it to happen.
I don't want to give up hope in this.
I do have faith... well what's left of it.

I had a dream last night...
I was in some unknown place; staring out in the night sky.
I saw a bright shooting star streak across the sky.
I remember saying "I wish to be a singer"

And then I woke up into reality...

I just wish and pray that my rainbow will come smiling through...

Sometimes things don't happen for a reason I guess...


Jordan.A

Ok, I've made my decision =D

I'll be going to the Eurovision Song Contest next year in Moscow, Russia.

I love this contest so much.
It's the greatest thing that I've encountered upon.
It's my passion.
It's my obsession.

BUT

I will still go to Los Angeles, California next year for a 2 month holiday for my 20th birthday.


I'll just make sure to save as much as I can!!!!!


Moscow HERE I COME!!!

Los Angeles HERE I COME.... MAYBE!!!



Jordan.A

Don't wait until it's too late

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately.

I've seen a lot of people in love and I'm real happy for them.
I've seen their passion and the connection they have with each other.
I've seen the warmth feeling and the strong love they feel for each other.
It's the most precious thing in the entire world.
I know without love; there's nothing.
I know without your soul mate; there's nothing.

In life we face a lot of trials and hard choices.
We do things that we regret doing.
We do things that we're not proud of.
We wish we could turn back time and change the past.

I guess we all have to move forward with our life.
We should never look back on what might have been.
We should just look to what's in front of us and work on it.
We should always believe in ourselves and try our best.
We should never let anyone bring us down.
We should always be who we are and never change.

I know there's a lot of people who are in love with a certain someone.
They're afraid of telling that person how they feel.
They're afraid of getting hurt if it doesn't turn out the way they hoped for.
You should always listen to your heart.
Don't spend the rest of your life waiting for it to happen.
Don't spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.
No matter what happens in life... we should always have courage to admit our feelings.

If you truly love someone... who ever it is.
Don't wait until the last minute.
Life gives and takes away.
Any of us could die any minute or day.
We should always make each day count and live life to the fullest.
Don't spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been if you didn't tell that person how you felt.
We should be thankful for every second we live on this earth.

If you truly love someone... who ever it is.
Please tell them how you feel about them.
Don't wait until it's too late.

We don't want to regret never telling them.

You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.



Jordan.A